Spring has sprung and hormones are raging on our once sweet and innocent middle school campus. Empty crevasses, nooks, and door jams are now filled with blossoming youth. One seasoned teacher caught a few snuggling today. She later found out her son, a lanky 8th grader has been seen in the nook with a lovely female....while other students are drawing tiny superheros and munching on oreos "ragers" as we call them lurk in the hallways, shirts too low, belly buttons revealed and pants practically falling down. Lip gloss is shiny and aerosol after-shave, pungent.
My innocent 6th graders are now heading (most of the time head first) into adolescence. Though the love trysts are still few, we have some of the other hurdles to jump. Hygiene is top on the list. I had to directly ask these "innocents" today if after PE they were taking showers. Our classroom, which usually smells like mold, now has taken on the sweaty sneaker/BO smell. Because our diligent window opener (he has taken to opening every window, everyday) hadn't completed his job yet, I wasn't afraid to tell these spirited 12-year-olds about their body changes.
Bringing up the shower warranted the same response as if I had sprung a "pop quiz".
"EWWWW the showers stink."
"They are gross."
"They have mold."
"They back up to up into the toilets...and you know what that means."
I remind them that it is a requirement to take a shower, isn't it?
"NO" they scream in unison. I take a big swig of my Starbucks venti half caf latte - I can tell that not only the daylight savings time change but their energy is going to make it an extra long day.....
"Well," I clarify, "They should be required."
I regain my composure say "SSSSSH" because this hot topic has inspired 50 side conversations. The room becomes a beehive, and I the queen swig my coffee, take a deep breathe and bluntly continue.
"Listen, you can at least put on deodorant, can't you?"
Some kids look a little embarrassed and say they do. Some nod. Some turn red.
"Well, regardless, it is time. You are 12-year-olds and, well, it is just time!"
I don't tell them my middle school stories. How I hid from the showers in the dark, eery locker room. Short and underdeveloped I couldn't handle , the thought of de-robing my undershirt in front of budding and buxom classmates. But I could probably tell my students about my first can of deodorant and how proud I felt using it....
OK, I pray my mission will be accomplished. I decide, since I have their attention, to address one last topic.
"OK, did your science teacher talk to you today about an issue?" They nod their heads ---not smiling.
"Good because I am gonna continue. We both think it is great that you all like each other but lately, you are WAY too chatty. In other words, I am spending time I would rather be teaching or having you learn telling you to settle down and listen."
For a moment, their solemn, pouting faces are thinking (...I don't talk). But the general feeling is sympathetic and I know I have their attention. I pause to reflect on being a new teacher and having felt the class would eat me alive when I tried to discipline. But now, 7 years later, it is different. My experience doesn't mean that kids won't be kids but it means I won't run in the bathroom and cry because some adolescent insulted me.
"So, you guys get it, right? In other words," I repeat, "just ZIP IT..." I realize that my attempt at humor may have caused a few tears.
"You know, ZIP IT.COM!" I am relying on Austin Powers to pull me out of this potentially rude comment that I might get a parent phone call about. A few laugh. Then a few more. Thinking I am safe, side conversations start and it is back to me SHOOOSSSHING again. How will I ever teach?
Ah spring. I know this is why we stop teaching in the summer.
